Your grief is what it is. We all process differently. It’s good that you can do it on here and know we are all “listening”. The spider story made me cringe as I do everything I can to get away from them. I just twisted my back the other day doing just that. Your mom will be with you forever. There will be times that you see something that will strike up a memory. I still talk to my dad after all these years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_wasp (I studied them in college - very cool creatures - kind of gruesome life tho. Real life version of Alien. They lay eggs on the spider. The eggs hatch out and consume the spider.) ... Also it's still pretty recent loss for you and your dad. Lots to process. It goes on for many years - little insights or memories or sudden wellings of emotion. At least it does for me - and it's been like 15 years since my folks passed. It's helpful to read about someone else's path through this most essential experience. We walk through life and do all the little things and death is in the deep background. Until it isn't. <3
I just love reading your thoughts and musings. If it's about your mom, that's because what you were thinking about. If it's clouds or ants or (shudder) spiders, well that's good too. Love you.
I didn't have anything like this substack but I felt OK with doing a long FB grief posting about every month for the first year. I totally relate to not wanting to see or think about things that would let me off, that would cause the at times unbearable wave of grief to rise up and simply not stop until I medicated myself. I believe strongly that because we tend to live alone or in small groups we just aren't exposed to what serious grief looks like, and are completely unprepared when it comes for us.
Your grief is what it is. We all process differently. It’s good that you can do it on here and know we are all “listening”. The spider story made me cringe as I do everything I can to get away from them. I just twisted my back the other day doing just that. Your mom will be with you forever. There will be times that you see something that will strike up a memory. I still talk to my dad after all these years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider_wasp (I studied them in college - very cool creatures - kind of gruesome life tho. Real life version of Alien. They lay eggs on the spider. The eggs hatch out and consume the spider.) ... Also it's still pretty recent loss for you and your dad. Lots to process. It goes on for many years - little insights or memories or sudden wellings of emotion. At least it does for me - and it's been like 15 years since my folks passed. It's helpful to read about someone else's path through this most essential experience. We walk through life and do all the little things and death is in the deep background. Until it isn't. <3
Very cool about the spider wasp! And thank you for your honest, kind reflections. ❤️
I just love reading your thoughts and musings. If it's about your mom, that's because what you were thinking about. If it's clouds or ants or (shudder) spiders, well that's good too. Love you.
Thank you, my friend! ❤️😻
I didn't have anything like this substack but I felt OK with doing a long FB grief posting about every month for the first year. I totally relate to not wanting to see or think about things that would let me off, that would cause the at times unbearable wave of grief to rise up and simply not stop until I medicated myself. I believe strongly that because we tend to live alone or in small groups we just aren't exposed to what serious grief looks like, and are completely unprepared when it comes for us.
When I see your mom’s smile, I see where you came from.